Miscarriage; Amy’s story
The days following consisted of a barrage of emotions. I felt betrayed by my own body. I lay in the bath one afternoon and looked at my stomach and cried for what felt like hours. There were times when I felt ok. My partner lifted my spirits and we did laugh on occasion and focussed a lot of our attention on our pets.
When I was told that the miscarriage was complete, I felt an unexpected sense of relief. By that point a few weeks had passed and I felt more emotionally strong. I’d gone from crying multiple times a day, to celebrating the days that I’d managed not to cry. My partner and I had some difficult days, but by communicating and admitting that sometimes our emotions were beyond our control, we got through those bad days.
I still find myself feeling jealous of pregnant women. When we first found out about the loss of our baby, I couldn’t stand the thought of future pregnancies, but now some time has passed, and the shock and pain of the initial loss has settled in my heart, I no longer feel that way. I know I have a long way to go, but for now, the good days have started to outweigh the bad and I can only put that down to the passage of time, and the support of those around me. I found comfort in talking to those closest to me. Through doing so I came to learn that some had also experienced miscarriage. Sharing experiences and realising I was not alone has really helped guide me through this difficult time.
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