Factsheet: Finding Strength: Building a Support System in IVF Pregnancy

Rosie Buckley

Freelance Writer for Women’s Health

@rosiewithapen

Summary

Starting the journey of in vitro fertilisation (IVF) can be both joyful and emotionally challenging. The possibility of achieving pregnancy brings hope, but the process can also bring uncertainty. One of the most important tools for navigating this journey is building a strong, supportive network that can provide not only practical help but also emotional support throughout the IVF process and pregnancy.

Understanding the Emotional Landscape

IVF can evoke a wide range of emotions from excitement and happiness to anxiety and heartbreak ¹. Hormonal changes during treatments can intensify all the feelings and make it that much more important to have someone to talk to who understands and can validate your feelings. Some people also feel added anxiety and stress about certain medical procedures. Recognising that your emotional experience is valid is the first step towards seeking support. No one needs to face this journey alone!

Identifying Your Support Team

• Having a strong support system during the IVF process often includes a combination of:
  • Partner or Spouse: Communication with your partner is absolutely key, so you can face challenges together, lean on each other in hard times, and prevent misunderstandings.
  • Family and Friends: Having people you trust around you during your fertility journey can make it easier.
  • Fertility Support Groups: This community setting provides a safe space to share one’s own experiences, gain emotional support, learn from others, and feel less alone.
  • Mental Health Professionals: Visiting a counsellor or therapist provides a non-judgemental space to discuss how you’re feeling. They can help you understand the emotions you’re feeling and give you practical tips to manage them. Fertility clinics are regulated by the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, who make it a requirement for fertility clinics to offer counselling to people undergoing fertility treatment.

Practical Ways to Build Your Support System

Communicate Clearly

Let those around you know what kind of support you need. People may not know how to help unless you guide them. Here are some communication tips:

• Be specific about your needs: Being direct with a phrase like “Can you please attend my next appointment with me?” prevents misunderstandings by stating exactly what you need.
• Keep your partner in the loop: It’s important to check in with each other to see how you’re feeling emotionally. You and your partner may cope with things differently, so open communication can help to avoid misunderstandings. Some people set aside time to have these conversations to prevent them from consuming too much of everyday life.
• Use I statements: These statements can improve communication and prevent arguments by focusing on your needs and emotions rather than blaming others or sounding defensive. A phrase like “I feel overwhelmed at the moment and want to be alone for a bit before my appointment” expresses exactly what you need.

Engage in Self-Care Together

Looking after yourself and prioritising your well-being can reduce anxiety and help people better navigate challenges. There are ways to do this on your own, such as getting enough sleep, maintaining a healthy diet, and meditating. But there are also ways to engage in self-care with friends and family. Here are some examples:

• Going on a walk: Spending at least 2 hours in nature is associated with good well-being and health. Walking in nature can improve physical health, reduce stress, and lead to better sleep ²
• Engage in shared activities: Do something you enjoy with a friend or relative. This could be visiting a garden centre, a museum, a pottery painting studio, or a coffee shop. Doing this can ensure you stay in touch with yourself. Planning date nights with your partner, like a trip to a restaurant or the cinema, can help you stay connected.

Set Boundaries

It’s okay to step back from relationships or interactions that increase stress. Your emotional health is a priority. Discuss with your partner which boundaries you want to set, and agree on them together. This will be different for everyone, and it’s important to choose what feels right, but here are some examples:

• Avoiding detailed discussion of medical procedures.
• Only sharing news when reaching certain milestones.
• Not attending baby showers or gender reveal parties.

For some people, setting boundaries can be difficult, but simple phrases like “I’d rather not talk about that” can quickly change the course of a conversation without hassle. Some people prepare answers to unsolicited advice or questions they don’t want to answer.

Join a Support Group

Some people find it helpful to join a support group because it means they can surround themselves with people who understand. It provides a space where people can speak openly and share their stories without worrying about being misunderstood. Doing so can also have a big impact on others’ lives by helping them better navigate their own journey. Some of these take place in person, but there are also online IVF support groups too. Evidence demonstrates that group interventions can improve quality of life whilst undergoing IVF^3,4

Celebrate Small Wins

IVF can be a long journey. Lean on your support system to celebrate milestones, however small, to maintain positivity and motivation. At the same time, make sure to be kind to yourself!

The Power of Emotional Connection

Having support or a shoulder to cry on can make a significant difference in your experience. When surrounded by understanding and compassionate people, the emotional load can be lighter. Sharing the victories and fears allows you to feel seen and validated. Emotional support shouldn’t be a luxury; it’s an important ingredient for resilience and well-being throughout the IVF process.

Conclusion

Surrounding yourself with people you trust can help you feel supported and less isolated throughout your IVF journey. You don’t have to face it alone! Of course, a support network doesn’t completely erase the challenges, but it can help you build resilience, provide comfort, and make it easier to manage stress more effectively. Surrounding yourself with people you trust can help you feel supported and less isolated throughout your IVF journey. You don’t have to face it alone! Of course, a support network doesn’t completely erase the challenges, but it can help you build resilience, provide comfort, and make it easier to manage stress more effectively.